Homeless Prevention: Physical or Sexual Abuse by Babysitters

* Help if you are being abused by your babysitter

Sexual and physical abuse is one of the main reasons for people running away and becoming homeless.

Due to the very high number of homeless people who were abused either by the babysitter or someone else, this help page was created.

What is a babysitter?

• A babysitter is someone who doesn't live in your house, but looks after you when your parents are away.
• A babysitter could be someone paid by your parents to look after you or maybe a family friend or relative.
• The babysitter may come to your house when your parents are away, or your parents may drop you at the babysitter's house.
• You may be a babysitter if you look after children who don't live in the same house as you.

What is Sexual Abuse?

• Any time someone touches, rubs, kisses or pokes you where they shouldn't or makes you do any of those things to them. Especially places where you or they normally wear underwear.
• Sexual abuse can also be if they uncover parts of their body that normally have underwear in front of you or they make you uncover those parts of your body so they can see. If someone does this to you or makes you do it to them its sexual abuse.
• Even if it is a time you would normally take your clothes off, like when you have a bath or get changed for bed, it could be sexual abuse. If the babysitter has a bath with you it is definitely sexual abuse.

What is Physical Abuse?

Any time someone hurts you on purpose and you feel pain. For example they punch or slap or kick or bite you. There are lots of different ways someone may hurt you on purpose. If the babysitter hurts you on purpose it is physical abuse.

Brothers and sisters sometimes hurt each other on purpose. It could be because you have a fight about something. This can be very unfair, but is not usually called physical abuse because kids do fight about things. It would be physical abuse though if they try to find ways to hurt you lots of times, not just when you have a fight about something.

Do some babysitters really abuse children?

Most often, sexual abusers know the child they abuse but are not relatives. In fact, about 60% of perpetrators are non-relative acquaintances, such as a friend of the family, babysitter, or neighbor.

Top 10 Lies Told About Abuse - (here is the truth):

1. Sexual abuse and physical abuse is not normal, it is very wrong and should not be done to anyone (kids or adults).
2. You won't get in trouble if you tell your parents or an adult who cares about you.
3. It is not your fault if you are abused, that is a lie if someone says that.
4. It is never better to keep it secret, this will only let them keep hurting you and possibly let them keep hurting other kids if no one knows.
5. If they say it will get worse or they will hurt someone else if you tell on them - this is a lie.
6. If you do tell on them, an adult will make sure they can't abuse you again or hurt anyone else again.
7. Anything they tell you that scares you is just a lie, don't believe them.
8. Sexual abuse or physical abuse happens to a lot of kids, you are not the only one.
9. If you tell someone you are being abused, they will believe you.
10. In many cases: you are not the only one they are hurting.

What to do if you are being abused by the babysitter or someone else

1. Pick someone to tell. You could tell your parents, or a school teacher, or phone the number listed below.
2. Tell them exactly what happened and who the person is that did it to you.

Tip: If you are being sexually abused, one way to scare your abuser into not doing it is to use the proper name of the places they are touching you or making you touch them and asking them not to, e.g. 'Don't touch my penis,' or 'Don't touch my vagina.'

This is the number you, or your parents can call for confidential information, advice or just someone to talk to: National Child Abuse Hotline (USA) 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453).

If there is nothing you can do to make the abuse stop, we can help:

• We will be on your side and we will believe you.
• You can ask questions in the Homeless Forum.
• One of the main reasons why people in the forum will believe you and always be on your side is because it happened to some of them too.

If you are thinking of running away as a way out, this may be the only option. But most of the time, there will be a much easier way to make the abuse stop. Here is some information if you are thinking about: Running Away.

About the Author:

This article was written by Dominic Mapstone, a Social Worker who has worked with homeless people since 1994 and also worked in prisons with juvenile and adult sex offenders and their victims. Dominic is the Director of Rebeccas Community, a support service for homeless people.

If you are being abused, please tell an adult who can help,
we don't want to see you homeless or in prison later in life!

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